How I survived with a smile

Posted on 24. Feb, 2017 by in Christian education, hurting students, LCA News, Santa Monica

How-to-survive-in-a-single-parent-setting-with-joyBy Kayla Armstrong, LCA sophomore

Growing up I always seen kids with a mom and dad and always going out to eat and having a good time. Well believe it or not, I didn’t have that. My mom was my mother and father, and it was always just me and her.

My father was really never in the picture, wasn’t at my games, awards, or plays, etc. As a little girl, I had so many questions and wanted the feeling of what it was like to have a full-time father.

With my mom and baby sister.

With my mom and baby sister.

I saw my dad a few times but not often. I remember the times where I would wait for him to pick me up but he never came. My dad and I were never close and even when he did pick me up, I would just be in my room for the whole weekend just watching TV and my dad and I wouldn’t really talk. It would be small talk like, “Are you hungry?”

It was embarrassing and made me very sad because I felt unwanted and felt like my dad didn’t love me or didn’t want me. But as I got older I was thankful he wasn’t in my life because my mom and I had a close relationship.

As time went by, my mother got married. I was happy because I had a father in my life, and he didn’t single me out because I was his “stepdaughter.” He treated me as if I was his own. We had a close relationship, and I got attached to him as if he were my biological father.

I was happy because I had someone to come to my volleyball games, there for my school recitals and if I got rewards and someone who can be there for me as a father.

In the middle of the year, things twisted, and the home wasn’t a “happy” home. There were lots of arguments, and next thing I know he was out of the house. I rebelled against everyone, especially God because I felt like God didn’t want me to be happy.

I felt like if He really loved me or was “real,” He would let our home be a happy home.

For Halloween, I was the cat and she was the mouse.

For Halloween, I was the cat and she was the mouse.

Freshman year was a hard year. My grades slipped at the Lighthouse Christian Academy. I felt like everything was crashing down on me. I gave up on having faith.

But what really and truly kept me going was my baby sister.  I didn’t want her to go through the same thing, so I knew that I couldn’t keep beating myself up or blaming myself for what happened between my mom and step-dad.

Not only was I sad, I also I developed anger issues. I wasn’t myself anymore. I wasn’t Kayla. I was empty inside.

Over the summer, I matured and sucked it up and told myself, “Kayla, you are better than this. Everything happens for a reason.” But a part of me kept feeling sad and felt like it was my fault. That’s what the devil wanted me to feel.

Kayla's-baby-sister

She is the motivation of my life!

At that point I stopped thinking negative. I started to pray and keep doing good in school. I started to change mentally.

Many people wonder, with everything that happened, how can I still keep a smile on my face?

It’s simple. You can’t just let bad things affect your whole life. God sends you lots of obstacles, and you have to overcome it.

Although I had a rough life, I have my mom who supported me and who made sacrifices for me and a baby sister who looks up to me. My baby sister is someone who means the world to me, and I want to make sure that even if her dad decides not to be in her life, it’s okay because she has a powerful mother and sister who are there for her and love her a lot.

Kayla Armstrong decided to share her story to let other young girls know that they aren’t alone and its okay to share their pain because it makes them stronger.

 

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One Response to “How I survived with a smile”

  1. […] felt like if He really loved me or was “real,” He would let our home be a happy home. Go to this link to find the happy ending and I invite you to comment […]

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